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The Minister for Justice is flat out these days writing the sequel to his first erotic novel

The Minister for Justice is flat out these days writing the sequel to his first erotic novel

Keira Knightly paid €40,000 for a Rolex for her husband” Spike read from the newspaper on his lap “sure you could never take that out in public”. “I think the Taoiseach got one of them….his office claimed €3.5 million in expenses in the last six months….he probably got one for all the Ministers and got a discount” I said taking a sip of my Giggle Juice. “He’ll probably say he saved the country money” Biffo added “and got one thrown in for free….if he’s cute he’ll give one to Merkel….she might put a word in for that new job he’s after in Europe” Biffo added knowledgeably. “No cuter hoor” Spike muttered under his breath reading more of the newspaper. “Anything else interesting Spike?” I asked, tipping the ash from my Monte Cristo no.4 on his coat. “Well actually….it says here that an artist in Russia has fled the country in fear after he painted a picture of the Russian Prime Minister Putin in women’s clothes” he said with a laugh. “He’s probably on his way here to paint the Ministers in the Dail drinking all night and grabbing women by the ass” Biffo guffawed. “Apparently Russian Law prohibits anyone from insulting State Authorities” Spike continued, shaking his head. “He’d be grand here…sure we’re very open-minded and cultured” I said with gusto “doesn’t our Minister for Justice write erotic novels and no one bats an eye”. “Mind you now….that Russian law sounds every bit like our law that prevents broadcasters from giving an opinion against the government….they’re only allowed to report it” Biffo The Guard said suspiciously “they snaked that one in without anyone noticing”. “Ah yes….that was our Minister for Propaganda…..Goebbels Rabbitte” I said tutting “I’d say he’s confused whether he’s a Redshirt or a Blueshirt the misfortune”.

“There’s a lot of confusion in this country….poor old Brian Cowen said they never had a Plan B for when the recession hit” Spike said sadly. “That’s assuming he had a Plan A” Biffo snorted “ we get everything wrong here….our first drive by shooting was done on a bicycle and he shot himself first…you’d have to laugh only its all true”. “He probably got a grant for the bike from the Green Party….in fairness to the Greens….if there’s going to be a shooting…by God they’ll try and make it an environmentally friendly one” I said carelessly blowing smoke at Spike. “Yeah it’s called their….Bike to Work Scheme” Biffo said with a guffaw. Competent politicians….still it seemed like a good idea at the time…